What a year. It's amazing what a year can change, and what it can leave the same. If you've been keeping up on me, you know that a lot has happened. Let's see what's changed, shall we?
Because love sucks.
But it can be wonderful. I've never been in love. I've been close. But still, even now, I don't know if I could say that I've been in love. Which scares me a lot. It's the one area in my life in which I am still completely and totally naive. And looking around during spring semester and seeing everyone pairing off, and me sitting at this computer alone... well. But I've had my first taste of heartbreak. And it's made me realize a lot about what love really is.
Because love isn't a big deal. In fact, it is the smallest of things. It's the way someone looks at you when you're being dumb. It's movie quotes and shared glances. It's getting really excited about something that you are passionate about and them placating you by listening. It's them getting excited too. It's letting someone see the dark corners of your soul and them simply give you a hug. It's wanting to be better around them... and at the same time, act like a child. It's throwing snowballs and shooting water guns and spraying silly string. It's laughing so hard you can barely breathe. It's being lazy together and being active together and sitting in comfortable silence. It's letting them see you are broken and that maybe they can fix you. It's when speaking out could yield something better than staying quiet. It's being completely and utterly fragile and vulnerable. Love is letting someone be themselves, not trying to change them or twist them, but allowing them to be their beautiful, imperfect self.
Because all that God has had to work with is imperfect beings. And we should be able to do the same. Love is existing in imperfection and adoring one another anyway. It's the time is takes to really see them. To see them deep inside, every deficiency, every flaw, every shortcoming and accepting them nonetheless. To come to love the imperfections that make them who they are. And allowing them the opportunity to do the same to you.
Because it takes two.
You can care for someone, you can desire them, ache for them, want to help them in every way, you can desire to love them so much. But it takes two to allow those imperfect beings create a perfect love. It was never meant to be one sided. When it's one sided, you pour out your whole soul and it's just empty. But when there are two, it can be endless. It never has to end.
I have a tendency to care for certain people too much too fast. I can tell you within a few days if you will be one of my best friends. And these people help define me. Often I don't know what I would be without them. They build me up, constantly and completely. They have more power in my life than anyone else. Some of them know who they are and someone of them don't. But I've let them in, which is kind of a big deal.
I think that love is letting someone change you for the better. And ultimately wishing for and helping them attain the greatness that it inside of them as well. In order to love you have to accept love. You have to decide to give it and you have to decide to accept it.
"Love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. To love somebody isn't just a strong feeling. It is a decision, a judgment, and a promise."It is a conscious decision to love. It doesn't accidentally happen. Not real, true, God-like love.
Sacrifice. Belief. Endurance. Faith. Eternal. Love.
It is the very fabric of our existence. It is the reason of our existence. God loves, therefore we love. Because we are like unto Him.
And why shouldn't we want that?
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